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Sex and Sexuality
Healing the Trauma of rape
When you speak with rape survivors, this is exactly what you hear over and over again, a gut wrenching sense that something deep and essential has been seized by force and taken away, never, ever to be returned. In its place has been left only violation and destruction. This can be a very dark pl... Read More
Sexual Trafficking: The 21st Century Slavery Helping the Least of These
Slavery is still with us even in the 21st century. Although we tend to think of slavery as occurring in distant places, such as the Sudan, trafficking in human beings exists today right here in America, perhaps in your town or city. Each year, between 600,000 and 800,000 people are traffi... Read More
Book Review: Shattered Vows (By Debra Laaser)
No one likes to talk about sexual betrayal. Let me rephrase that. No one likes to talk about sexual betrayal when it happens to him or her. Not long ago, Debra Laaser experienced a wife’s worst nightmare. And today, she is ready to tell her story. And a well-told story it is, written with ... Read More
9 Things You Simply Must Do (to succeed in love and life!)
I remember when it first happened, but I do remember the feeling. It was like being in an episode of The X Files—or more accurately, a strong sense of déjà vu. I would be talking with someone, either in therapy or a consulting role, or even in a business situation, and I would think, wait a minut... Read More
The Sword and the Trowel: A Biblical Model for Men's Accountability
In today’s fast paced world there are temptations for men everyday. The pressures of work, the allure of the Internet, and the sexual energy of our culture all make it hard to make healthy decisions. It was no different in Paul’s time. In Romans 7:15, he writes, “I do not un- derstand wha... Read More
In Search of Sexual Integrity: Confronting the Myths of Male Sexuality
The Christian male faces so many chal- lenges in claiming and enjoying his sex- uality. The Church has not done well in creating healthy dialogue or encour- aging confession of sexual sins. Society seems preoccupied with sex and we have bought into so many distortions. Nor- mal hormones and a hig... Read More
The Silent Scream of Seduction
They are the difficult women—high maintenance; provocative in dress and seductive in behavior; emotionally dangerous; and spiritually adrift. Involved in unhealthy and unholy relationships, these women usually fit the unflattering labels frequently used to describe them: bad girls, loose, promisc... Read More
From the Heart: Imaginary Lovers
Proverbs 5:3-5 says, “For the lips of an immoral woman drip as honeycomb, and her mouth is sweeter than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; and her steps lay hold of hell.” The monster elephant sitting in our pews and spewing waste... Read More
The High Cost of Sexualizing our Youth
When I swept my office door open and caught the look on Abigail’s face, I knew something was desperately wrong. Her beautiful acnefree, freckle-pasted face was puffy and red from hours of crying. My heart quickened and my mind instantly created a list of possibilities for her pain: her mother had... Read More
Sex, Body Image, and MTV: Winning the Battle over Your Teen's Mind
IMAGINE WITH ME. IT’S YOUR daughter’s sweet 16th birthday. You’d love to surprise her with something she really wants —a car, new clothes, a cell phone, money… British teen, Jenna Franklin, had a different idea. Her 16th birthday request was to have breast enlargements. Specifically, Jenna wanted... Read More
Sex Education in the Public Schools: What are Teenagers Learning?
Recently, I went to a center for teen-aged girls where the teacher asked what they would like to discuss the most. Human biology? Care for their infant? Physiology of childbirth? Family planning? The girls showed no interest. Then the teacher asked, “Would you like to discuss how to say no to you... Read More
Case Management: A Case of Sexual Addiction
Ryan and Sarah (not their real names) are missionaries. Both were born in Latin America, so they didn’t go through cultural adjustments or have problems learning the language when they arrived in South America. They are having a successful ministry together planting a new church in the city wher... Read More
Walking on the Edge: The Counselor's Sexuality
Why do so many Christian “people helpers,” including counselors, psychologists, pastors, and social workers, suddenly find themselves in immoral or sexually compromising relationships when such behavior is contrary to their deep beliefs? Why have they unwittingly betrayed the moral standards they... Read More