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Love and Belonging
A Unique Challenge: Dual Counselor Marriages
“Don’t the two of you get sick of psychoanalyzing each other all the time?” After almost 16 years of marriage to another counselor, what we are sick of is this question! To begin with, although we are psychotherapists, we are not psychoanalysts; and secondly, by the time we finish an intense day ... Read More
Relationship Cancer: Understanding the psychological dynamics of domestic violence
Her cries for help in the middle of the night startled us awake and when we turned on the lights and let our neighbor inside, the red welts on her arms and face shocked us even more. “How could he do this to you?” My mother asked, and all she could sob out was “He didn’t mean to do it, please d... Read More
Be There: Keeping Kids Emotionally Safe
“What is daddy doing, mommy?” Daniel asked as his little fingers clutched the car door and his nose pressed against the window, peering out and trying to make sense of what perplexed him. “He’s moving around.” Sylvia, his mother, answered. What else could she say? “Look’s like Dad is moving side-... Read More
Lonely Children: Love and hope for empty souls
LONELY CHILDREN. We all have a picture of them in our minds. Our hearts ache when we hear our children cry, “Mommy, Julie doesn’t want to sit with me at lunch.” Or our son confesses, “Daddy, why am I always the last one picked?” And we wonder whether or not our children are lonely children. It is... Read More
9 Things You Simply Must Do (to succeed in love and life!)
I remember when it first happened, but I do remember the feeling. It was like being in an episode of The X Files—or more accurately, a strong sense of déjà vu. I would be talking with someone, either in therapy or a consulting role, or even in a business situation, and I would think, wait a minut... Read More
The Anger Difference: Are Men or Women Angrier?
When you read these words, somewhere in America, a couple is arguing. Both shout in anger. He walks away ignoring her, knowing that will make her angrier. She follows him into another room, still venting her rage. Finally, without warning, he turns and strikes her, ending the argument. Our first... Read More
7 Strategies to Survive the Holidays
Have you ever wondered why traditional holidays are so stressful? Instead of being called the ‘most wonderful time of the year,’ it seems that we should rename it to be more accurately called the ‘most difficult time of the year’. I believe you can break the pattern of stressful holidays by re... Read More
Do Tough Guys Ever Get Lonely?
Most men know the scene-stopping movie line, “Go ahead; make my day.” We know the actor, the character, the movie… and many of us know the adrenaline rush of thinking we could be the consummate tough guy, Inspector “Dirty Harry” Callahan, replete with a .44 Magnum in hand. To heck with superiors,... Read More
Addicted to Love
Few issues in women are more hidden than sexual addiction. Depression, anxiety, even childhood sexual abuse and eating disorders receive more attention. Neither the clinical field nor the recovery community has directed much attention to this secret struggle in women. A Google search reveals only... Read More
High Maintenance Relationships
This is a study of how couples talk to each other about not feeling well. Kandi Walker and Fran Dickson reported on 53 couples who provided interview and questionnaire information having been contacted through convenience sampling procedures. The couples reported an average age of 43 years (range... Read More
The Silent Scream of Seduction
They are the difficult women—high maintenance; provocative in dress and seductive in behavior; emotionally dangerous; and spiritually adrift. Involved in unhealthy and unholy relationships, these women usually fit the unflattering labels frequently used to describe them: bad girls, loose, promisc... Read More
Fatal Altercations Consumed WIth Jealousy
Jealousy is a popular subject in media and the arts. From the wicked Queen in Disney’s classic Snow White, to the disturbing 1987 movie hit, Fatal Attraction with “Alex’s” deathly obsession of “Dan,” to the repulsive character of “Gollum/Smeagol” in the Tolkien-tale-turnedmodern- cinematic-blockb... Read More