How a mate responds to positive events may have more
to do to deepen marital ties than how one responds
to negative news, according to research reported in
The Monitor on Psychology (Jan. 2007). To put it
another way, enthusiastic support to good news by
one’s spouse led to higher relationship satisfaction
than did compassionate responses to bad news.
79 couples were studied and rated for responses to
various kinds of positive and negative information.
Responses were coded as enthusiastic or passive,
and destructive or constructive. Enthusiastic and
constructive responses were not only found to be the
best overall, but had greater impact for the good of
the relationship than the best responses to negative
information.
“The best your partner can do [whey you are upset]
is bring you back to an average state—a not-upset
state,” said UCLA psychology professor Shelly Gable,
the studies lead researcher. “Positive events offer
a lot more opportunity for growth in a relationship
because there is a lot less on the line in terms of
stress and self-esteem.”
